I was reading about intense emotions and you can either express, suppress, or transform them. One way to transform them is to turn them into a metaphor. I think that’s why I came up with this metaphor the other day when I was really frustrated. Instead of relying on the ole humdrum Sisyphus myth of feeling like I was being “forced to push a boulder up a hill,” I realized I felt more like I was trying to lift an elephant with one finger which ends up sliding into the animal’s anus.
I’ve been pretty angry lately. Not so much anymore but lately. Anger is a good thing though. It can clear your mind….and your life… pretty quickly.
Augusten Burroughs taught me this with his book This is how.. It has a very long title. I’m not going to repeat it all now but, believe me, it’s an amazing book.
Of course I’ve felt other things, too. I’ve been happy, grateful, silly. I can feel lots of things but anger is kind of an unusual for me. I don’t usually like to go there, but more and more as I get older, I’m less afraid of going there.
When I was younger, I was very afraid of getting angry. I was always worried about losing people. Losing friends, jobs. I did lose a job once to anger. I stormed out of a coffeeshop because I felt like the owner didn’t give a shit about the women in the coffeeshop who worked there even though it was a feminist coffeeshop. But it doesn’t matter. I learned from it. I learned that it’s ok to get angry. Just go home and breathe first before you decide to write that resignation letter.
I’ve learned that you can get angry and even while you’re still angry you can make sure you’re not saying things that you will regret later.
And I’ve learned not to deal with other situations that make me angry when I’m already dealing with a situation that is getting me angry. Sometimes I’m tempted to handle other people and scenarios that fuel the anger just because I’m already in the darkened mood and I think, ‘Why the hell not? Let’s kill two birds with one stone while i’m at it.’ But somehow, my rational mind takes over and keeps me from getting angry in two directions at once.
And I’ve learned to walk away from people who make me angry if it’s going nowhere.
I may walk away for a moment, an hour, or forever, but it’s good to walk away.