Here is what being a solo parent has taught me about life:

  • 20637948_1755855194454694_3782557840075500292_nDon’t feel sorry for yourself.
  • Make time for yourself because, if you don’t, you will get resentful.
  • They’re only this young and adorable for so long: savor it as much as you can.
  • Dogs are better substitute cuddling buddies than cats but cats are more fun to kiss (on the forehead people – on the forehead!!!)
  • If you listen to too many other people’s opinions about anything (e. g., parenting, relationships, love, sex, dating, career, money), you will never know what works for you (and…I guess that means you shouldn’t listen to me, either?). But if you don’t listen to anyone, you will become an arrogant prick. So find someplace in-between and go for it.
  • Get off your gadgets and talk. It is the best medicine for any/all misunderstandings.
  • If that doesn’t work, then go be alone with nature. That will heal you, too.
  • And if that still doesn’t work, then go read the newspaper and realize that the world has a lot more to deal with than you really do.
  • And if that doesn’t work, well… I don’t know but watching stand-up comedy usually helps me recalibrate my brain (before going back to parenting, or simply adulting).
  • Above all, spend enough time alone to get your priorities straight. I just sat in a car driving up and down the coast of Washington, Oregon, and California, and I learned a lot. I learned that I’ve been chasing this dream of a two-parent family for too long. I’ve learned that it’s distracted me from being a whole parent. And I’ve learned that I want to be all there for my children. Not halfway or ¾ of the way but all the way. Finding a significant other is not a waste of time but it’s a secondary deal for me now. I’d rather be there for myself and my kids first. If/when the right person comes along, ideally, they will also know how to be there for themselves first. And if/when we ever connect it will be because we enhance each other’s lives rather than fill a void. I don’t want to live in a void. Been there, done that. I’m ready to be happy just as I am.
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