god is good thinking

I don’t believe in god, but I don’t NOT believe in her/him either. I think god is a useful concept. Especially when I am very afraid. And I have been.

One time I was laying in a hospital bed in Boulder, Colorado, and I had had three surgeries on my abdomen to get rid of an infection and I was in so much pain several times that I was definitely believing in god. I was asking god for help. And it definitely seemed to work.

The rest of the time, I don’t ask or talk to god much. But I do talk to my friends, to myself, to nature. And I think they’re all the same.

I think god is really another word for being aware. Thinking enough about the world both inside and outside of yourself that you understand it better. Anticipate things. Think about things.

That doesn’t mean I won’t be calling out to god the next time I’m in extreme pain, but I think it’s good to know that you always have it at your disposal. It’s always there. You just have to be aware. You can forgive, let go, love, understand, create boundaries as needed, break down boundaries as needed, all in the name of ‘god’ or ‘love’ or whatever you want to call it. The point is to be aware. Be aware of what is good for you and the world around you. Good. God. That’s about it.

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