Play with yourself

In order to be there for other people, you have to be there for yourself. You can do this in lots of ways. Here are some of my favorite ways.

  • Take a shower. There’s nothing like removing all distractions by taking a shower. It feels too good to think about anything else. Kind of like sex.
  • Writing to no one. Writing to yourself. Writing to a good friend who doesn’t pass judgment. Who loves you for who you are, regardless of your ups and downs and who doesn’t dole out advice unless you ask for it. And who surprises you and helps you see your own shit in new ways.
  • Go for a walk. Kind of like taking a shower and sex but this time you are stimulated by all kinds of ever changing sights and sounds and lucky for you if you live in a boring ass neighborhood because then you learn how to slow down and appreciate the little things which is the secret to happiness anyway.
  • Again: Slllllllloooooooowwwwww down. The happiest people I know take life very slowly. They wake up late. They’re not in a hurry to get anywhere. They cut more out of their schedule in order to free up time to just create and play with themselves. Yes, play with themselves. Yes, I mean ‘that.’
  • Don’t jump to the punchline. Kind of like ‘slow down’ but this time it’s the idea that you don’t need to put on a song and dance for everyone. Softer voices and less talk often lets other people crawl out of their shells. Sometimes I feel like I have to fill every hole or gap or empty frame of life with fireworks and razzamatazz. Just let the void produce something.
  • And at other times, it’s ok to fill the void. I know people who are not afraid to jump in and splash around and make a mess of themselves. They step on what other people are saying, but they do it not because they’re callous but because they are excited about life, and they’re not afraid of being clumsy. So say something stupid. It’s ok. Somebody has to do it, might as well be you. Just don’t let it be you all the time or else people will start thinking you really are stupid. 😉

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