each person

ok this is a learning moment. every time I teach – and i’m going to get cheesy now so just bear with me – every time, every new quarter I learn something. I pretty much learn something (as we all do, I suppose) from each person I teach. some more than others. some test me more than others. some people I test more than others. but yeah.

i had this student once who was really good at facing life head on. no looking back. this person tested my limits because I CAN think too much at times, be too cautious… while, surprisingly, at other times I’ve gotten very good at throwing caution to the wind. however, I can throw it too much to the window and it ends up landing in my face so there is a happy medium. there is a way to be fearless and brave and face things and yet also have some common sense knockin around in that noggin.

i’m done living in the past. I want to live in the present. i’m done with living in the future fantasy land, too. I want to live in the present and living in the present requires facing things head on. not in a collision sorta way but there is a moment to face things and then there is a moment that that previous moment passed over and you’re done. of course you can try to go back to that moment and sometimes that is possible but ultimately, why do that? just be there in the present and deal with things.

I had this one student once who, when asked if he ever wrote in a journal, said ‘no’ and when prompted to explain why he said, ‘because if you are really living then you don’t have time to write about it and I want to really be living.’ I admire that and I appreciate it. i’m not sure if I could ever entirely do that because for me writing is not necessarily about living in the past. it’s about savoring the past so that when you come back to the present then you are noticing more because you allowed your senses to be more heightened and aware. so much of life passes you by. it takes time to take it all in. reflecting is a good way to do that and I think it can be good practice for when you go batter up to the present again. sure you can do it too much and think too hard and wait too long. there is a balance. and maybe some people just reflect in their mind or with a friend but I think, yeah, i’m sure it happens somewhere for this person who says they would never want to write in a journal. but ideally the goal is to get back to the present. maybe not. who knows. but that is where my mind is at now. facing the present. i’m going to go face it right now.

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