cheese and rain

right now i’m eating cheese – australian cheese, in fact – and tomato (you have to say ‘tomahhtoh’) on gluten free raisin toast. i know, sounds weird but it’s good. and it’s raining outside. both of these things combined remind me of living in jolly ole england as a teenager. i lived there for one year with my parents in a flat on redcliffe road in london and i went to a catholic girls’ school there. i’d get on the bus with my black (weird – why would any school put a child in black – so depressing) uniform skirt and knee hi socks and black blazer and white oxford shirt and my backpack and a few pounds in coins for a snackie poo and i’d sit on several underground tubes and overground buses until i arrived. i liked living in england. i wanted an english accent but i never got one.

i am thinking of this right now because for some reason i want to be anywhere but here right now. not that where i am is bad. i like where i am. i like my job. i like my friends. i like my family. i like my pets. i like my car. but i like to escape. and with no apologies right now – no more, at least – i am going to imagine the perfect world i’d live in right now if i could live another life right now. here. this second. immediately.

i would live on a farm. and that’s all i’d do. have a lot of animals. i’d have someone i could rely on to take care of the animals when i wanted to get away. and i’d get away a lot. but i’d have a big farm. i’d have chickens, horses, dogs, cats, goats for goat milk, maybe one cow for cow’s milk. i’d have a lot of land to ride my horse on. i’d have people living there to help me take care of all the animals. friends who like animals, too. it would be a commune of sorts. i’d have a permanent cook so i wouldn’t have to cook anything unless i felt like it. i’d have people taking care of a garden so we’d have fresh veggies and fruits but if no one wanted to do that then we’d just buy them from somewhere. no stress. i love gardens but i don’t like taking care of them. i like animals more. i would have a quiet place to write. and i would know people in town who liked to get crazy and put on plays. hell maybe they’d even live on the commune, too. and we could put on the plays right there on the farm in an outdoor theatre. maybe with a roof of some kind on it. a gazebo. but nothing fancy. just functional. feng shui.

when i would decide that i needed to get away, other people on the farm/commune could keep it all going and i’d go wherever. i’d drive and drive. or maybe i’d fly to a new town several states away that i’d never been to. or i’d have my passport ready and go to mexico or canada or somewhere in south america. i don’t know where but i’d know someone who would recommend a good place to go.

i would bring people with me who felt like going or i would go on my own . i might go with someone and then they might want to do their own thing after a while, or i might want to, so we wouldn’t have to do the whole trip together if we needed to explore on our own. either way. it would be chill.

and i’d even have time to paint sometimes.

and i’d take a lot of pictures.

and my kids would come if they want. or just one of them. or both of them. or they both might stay at the commune and just hang out and play with the animals and their friends or on their own.

and every day so many big and little cool new discoveries would be made that i’d barely have time to keep track of them but it would be worth a shot.

and that’s what i would do if i could live another life right now.





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