so here is what I do most of the time….wake up, check facebook too much, watch ‘school of life’ videos all the time, write, remind my kids of things and also try to let them do their thang chick wang and also try to simply enjoy them for who they are, and the animals too. anyhoo, my current fascination continues to be ‘stream of consciousness’ drivel. and now! dah dah dah dahhhhh!!! I finally have found confirmation (in the form of a confirmation bias) that there is a usefulness in all this blither blather. and a ‘school of life’ video told me so. and here it is…

so basically here is their point. much of our life is spent idolizing perfection. we want to become writers because we read someone’s work who was amazing or we want to be a cook because we ate at this restaurant that was amazing. the point is… and I like saying ‘point’…. is that it’s easy to overlook how much work goes into things. it’s easy to get discouraged because everywhere we look is perfection and nobody likes to parade their mistakes around for the world to see. hence…… stream of consciousness drivel dribble drabble. it can be a very refreshing thing to hear or read the meanderings of a person’s mind (I enjoy it when I hear other people ramble… ok at least most of the time) because it reminds us/me that we all go through all sorts of vicissitudes of emotions high and low and it’s ok to feel a plethora a range a cacophony a chaotic murder of thoughts and feelings and random mutterings of the mind. in fact, i’m doing it already. and if we all did this more…. again my point…. and I love saying ‘point’…. maybe we’d all lighten up a bit on each other and stop trying to be so perfect all the time. ok maybe it is good to edit oneself now and then. I mean I have, on more than one occasion even today, put my foot in my mouth and made myself look rather foolish or I almost trampled lightly on someone else’s feelings inadvertently but I guess I still would rather err on the side of imperfection and not stifle one’s expression because the tendency to self censor and then self censor more and more and more is what leads to a whole host of toxic mental and physical illnesses. sure, bastards who unleash all of the fury of their minds on the world are no good. so i’m not talking about spewing hate and if hate is what you feel mostly then maybe you need to put it somewhere else first (like a journal) before you add it to the already somewhat lethal dose of hate out in this world but really it’s ok to own your feelings and why not at least express them more is all i’m saying. thoughts and feelings. as feelings are connected to thoughts and sometimes even though we put our foot in our mouth unwittingly it is possible to 99.9% retract the nonsense from our mouths even if it did just make us look like an ass. it’s the nonsense of thinking that one always has to appear perfect on all social occasions that gets in the way of people simply enjoying living and getting along and being with each other. I knew this woman who was a vegetarian, for example, and she ate a lot of beans. she ate so many beans that most of the time whilst talking to her she usually emitted a fart or two or three. now at first I thought to myself, ‘does she realize she is farting right now and I can hear it?’ and then later I thought to myself, ‘I bet she farts so much that she doesn’t even notice or care that she is farting.’ now i’m not saying that I want to live in a world that is constantly farting or has diarrhea of the mouth (as I seem to have right now) but I am saying that that woman is probably a very healthy woman and I think it applies to our mental state as well. let it out for chrissake goddammit jesus! it’s ok. and even if what you do end up saying that is somewhat ridiculous, well? apologize or explain what you really meant or just simply let it go and unless you just revealed to the world that you believe that Michael Jackson was innocent or that Trump is an intelligent man or that you have never thought puppies or kittens were the least bit adorable then…. fuck it!  it’s not a big deal. let it go. nobody’s perfect and anyone who expects the world to be perfect can go suck a donkey’s hind quarters. end of story.


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