i’ve been musing more and more lately about being aware of the thoughts that filter through my head and repeating, if need be, a mantra to keep me going. last night i did yoga at my lovely friend’s house (poser yoga with diane rocks in PA) and i just repeated the phrase ‘contentment…contentment….contentment….’ to keep me grounded. i’ve heard about doing this for years. i finally did it.
i think it applies to everything (this is my usual approach to life: once i figure out something, i then apply it to everything else i do). so when i feel out of sorts and feel like i can’t keep up with the onslaught of tasks and ‘to do lists,’ i just remind myself that ‘i have all the time in the world that i need. just believe it and it will be so.’ and then i proceed to stop running around like a chicken with my head have severed and flopping around (which would be really cool to see someday) and i actually slow down and think and i stop wasting time by checking facebook so much and i finally find that i do have enough time to do whatever it is i need to do when i stop looking at a screen. [i’m sorry!!! i don’t mean to put down screens!!! it’s just that… it’s true!!! sometimes i can’t even remember what i have to do unless i walk away from my computer.
so here are some other things i’ve mindfully figured out today.
- i have tried. i have tried my damnedest to stay off facebook for longer stretches. and i can. it’s alright. but what i’ve found is that (once again) facebook is my way to keep my spirits up. sometimes i still think: it’s just vain of me to write so much trash on there. but it’s not trash, of course. we all have crazy ideas that pop into our brains so why not share them? that’s the beauty of being alive. it honestly makes me kinda sad that so many people spend their lives holed up in their brains, not sharing a thing that they’re thinking with the world. and i find that – like walking around town and bumping into people that i know or who are strangers – that bumping against people on facebook and hearing about their tidbits and me sharing mine is what adds sparkle and zest to my brain. i think more creatively, i notice more little nuances about the world when i’m aware that i’m sharing the silliness with other people, some of whom just read it which is fine and other people who, in turn, share their tidbits of zaniness with me. me likey. me likey a lot (a la jim carrey from ‘dumb and dumber’). but…. i’m also aware of ‘to each his own.’ we all need to be who we is and so there ya go. but for some reason there is something that really propels me to share this shit and i’m just glad some peeps out there are willing to read it. so yeah, i HAVE to do this to keep myself sane, happy, silly, crazy, true to myself. i can’t turn my brain off and i can’t keep my mouth shut or my hands from not typing or writing. sorry world! this is how i feel alive again and i’m proud of that finally.
- so here’s something that hit me today while i was walking around Home Depot:
“Inspired by Bill Murray who once said in an interview that if you find yourself getting nervous just relax into your ‘seat’ like a rider on a horse…. I believe that if you walk with intention, literally clenching your cheeks as you walk, then you can accomplish the same goal. Ok I’m kidding. Well half kidding. Maybe 1/4.”
and this (after forcibly making myself take a half day breather from facebook):
“Ok I feel like I’ve been holding in my breath and now I can’t hold it anymore. Here is the accumulation of detritus thus far. 1) what lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck. 2) I love to kiss my fat cat Willow’s belly. Today I think I motorboated it (come on! I’m kidding already), 3) the world may require you to be a penny pincher with $$, but don’t let that make you a penny pincher with love, 4) why does freshly ground coffee smell better than it actually tastes? 5) I want a life that has cajones. 6) NPR can you please change your theme song? It’s seriously too old now, 7) do I really want to waste my time on this earth straightening sheets in a closet that no one ever looks into? 8) it doesn’t make any sense to put lipstick on before entering a supermarket. And that’s why I’m doing it. 9) the reason I can never figure out where they put the marmite know the store is because most people who work at a grocery store don’t even know what effin marmite is!! 10) forever stamps have gone DOWN to 47 cents. Is the world coming to an end? Postage stamps DOWN in price ?
and part #2: 1) cats teach you a lot about holding your ground. today i witnessed our male cat appearing to look like he wanted to mount our female cat (although they’re both neutered/spayed so this made no sense) and willow just sat there staring him down while he stared her down and it took a very long time for both of them to stare each other down before finally willow screeched off. 2) there’s something very forlorn sounding about the metal clanging on a flagpole. 3) random girl in the playground yells out ‘Guess what’s for dinner! Candy and pooh!’. 4) fave moment of all: my hairdresser was getting relaxed because i wasn’t trying to contribute to the smalltalk (i was too absorbed watching the other hairdresser trim some guy’s very bushy beard) that she began to sing as she cut my hair. very nice!
so that’s it. i’m back to posting whatever pointlessness floats through my brain. not because my brain is any better than anyone else’s but… we ALL have cool stuff floating around in it. spew it out!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!! for crying out fuckin loud!!!